The 2016 Revolution.

 

Hamilton. Because: Revolution.

This year I wanted a revolution.

Well, be careful what you wish for, AM I RIGHT?

When you want a really big life, you have to make room for the really big things. And I guess what 2016 has taught me is that sometimes you have to sweep out all of the tiny little things that just take up space in order to allow for better things to come.

I always tell my friends and colleagues when they are feeling down about something..”Hey, think back to what you were doing exactly five years ago and think about how far you’ve come.” Right now I’m going to take my own advice. Hold on.

Ew. I just got an image of myself in short red hair. We all make mistakes.

Earlier this year I read that book about tidying up. Like you and your mom and neighbor probably did. And I really started treating items in my house differently. I got rid of five bags’ worth of clothes and..crap. I kept getting this feeling like I needed to downsize, get lighter. None of it really made sense to me until now.

This year I stopped chasing things that I thought were important to me for a really long time. Because I am a hard worker, I assumed that I should automatically take part in certain projects, do the SAME thing as every other actor, and overall just shut up and stand in line. But I’ve seen what it’s like on the other side, where  I create my own work and do my own thing… Do the thing no one else is doing and watching as people frown and say, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” I gotta tell ya. It’s awesome.

I decided to just do what I wanted. I got back to my very first love, something I have always relished in..making other people laugh.

I LAUGHED A LOT THIS YEAR. I LAUGHED TIL I CRIED.

I also cried til I laughed.

It’s been a year, okay?!

This past year has prepared me for this moment. To let go of all of the stupid things people worry about (and usually don’t let go of until something catastrophic happens to bring clarity to  their lives) – being good enough, money, what your friend thinks, having the ideal life, wanting someone to do what YOU want them to do, yadda yadda yadda.

dontworrywellfigureitout
from explodingdog.com

All that’s left for me is knowing how I want to feel every day when I wake up – that sure makes your dreams crystalize faster and with more intention.

When you get really clear on what you want? The people who are NOT clear about what they want start to fall away. I had heard of that before and I think I thought I believed it, but it wasn’t until this year that I really saw people get cleared from the decks, while some others show up more than ever.

Like I said, I started this year asking for a revolution. And I kicked my own ass. And when shit got hard – and did it ever – I held on to my faith and I held onto my ideals and I’m still here intact. And I can laugh about it now. Even though it’s not far from this moment.

I don’t know exactly what’s going to happen next and I don’t know if I’ll be anywhere near where I am a year from now.

But what I do know is that five years from now I’ll be like
“Yeah, I’m better off now, but damn did I make that revolution look good.”

 

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My vision board from 2013

My vision board from 2013

I just wanted to share my vision board from last year. It was the first time I had ever done anything like this. My in-laws and myself went out and bought about 20 magazines (plus I had quite a few Hollywood Reporters, Entertainment Weekly, etc) and we just clipped away and glued whatever we were drawn to.

The weird thing is, I don’t even know WHY I put some images on my vision board. But somehow every single image on this board resonated with something that happened to me in 2013.

SOME Examples (I could go on for days):
Savannah – no idea, NO idea why I put this up here. But the film I was in, East of Acadia, (starring William Sadler, Christopher Sarandon, Rachel Milner) ended up going to the Savannah Film Festival in October.

Thich Nhat Hanh – always admired this guy’s teachings. My mom and I got a random opportunity to go see him in New York in September, so we did! Always wanted to see him live!

Yellow Rose – This is so weird, I thought I put it on my board because it was pretty. NOPE. It ended up having a huge symbolic significance for me when I was going through an extremely difficult time. If you ever ride in my car you will notice I have a dried yellow rose in the dash.

Cameras, Lights: Well, I thought this one was obvious. I’m in the entertainment industry, I produced my own web series..But nope, the universe took it a notch further. I ended up learning how to edit in 2013. And getting accepted to the Cannes Film Festival (I think I can attribute most of the glamorous images to that)

A fresh start, images of houses with fireplaces and high ceilings: Dillon and I finally got our fresh start as newlyweds. Got a home with all of the things I had wanted, and didn’t realize at the time: pellet stove, cathedral ceilings, etc. Most importantly, a sanctuary.

Oh HA the oscar statue. Well I guess I can’t say my piece until after the SAG Awards are over, but I did do lots of screenings…in various places like the Academy Screening Room in NYC in 2013. wink wink.

Anyway, I am writing this to hopefully inspire some of you to create your own vision boards. Yes, have some goals in mind. But just snip through some images in magazines and stick some things on a poster board, EVEN IF you have no idea why. Because like me, you may be surprised by the end of 2014 with what you draw to yourself.

PS I recommend not sharing your current vision board online because you don’t want to be affected by what other people say and think about it, positive or negative. My new one is currently hanging above my desk, and I am totally pumped for the year ahead of me.

HAPPY DREAMING, y’all!