“Whatever life takes away from you, let it go.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
Recently, I had the uncomfortable experience of being sucked into some drama. Unfortunately, I don’t mean the kind on stage and screen, though that has been keeping me busy lately too.
Over the years, one of the hardest things for me to accept was the fact that when people moved away, or a lot of time goes by, or when people change, you have to let them go. In some cases, when someone is blatantly disrespectful or cruel, it is easy to do. But I find that I can be so nostalgic about a person, place, or thing, that I often forget that things don’t always just “stay the same” because we feel the same way about them.
Something that has helped me ease through transitions, loss or a knowing of a permanent change to come, is to stop labeling them. It’s not good or bad. It just is. And when it just “is,” I don’t have to feel so attached to it and I don’t have to take it personally.
Out of nowhere, (at least at the time it felt that way) a friend of mine dropped something on me that was so surprising, it didn’t hit me what he meant by it until I had walked a few blocks away. You see, something is changing in his life and while I don’t know all of the details, I do know what happens when you label friends, family, people, events, and it ain’t pretty. But that’s what he’s done.
Right now I’m giving it some space because I had all of the following reactions: surprise, hurt, anger, blame. And I had to remind myself that it is NOT about me. Whatever comes of this, it’s not really about something I did or didn’t do. It’s about how people relate to each other and how they process change. Part of me was quite sad about this, when I began to think about how things might be different in the future. I resisted the thought of it.
Then, I remembered that often times we have outgrown something long before we realize it. Whether you lose a job, a sentimental object, or a friendship…Sometimes it’s for the best and it doesn’t have to be painful. It just is.
I’m a fighter. Not physically and not like RAWR I AM GONNA YELL AT YOU (though I am capable of both). I fight for those I love and for my integrity. I plan on holding up my end of the bargain, but at the end of the day (I have turned into someone who says that phrase..sigh lol), I can only control my reaction. That’s okay and that’s enough.