I think one of the bravest acts of life a person can perform is that of taking all of your guts: horrible, awful, embarrassing, thrilling, scary things about yourSELF and write it down on a piece of paper.  And then force yourself to read it.  And then share it with others..and THEN….make a damn movie out of it.

I just finished working on the film, “Ian and the Bishop,” written, directed by and starring Ryan Brady.  It was an..intuitive project.

I know, I know, intuitive sounds vague, so I’ll get back to that in a minute. or two.

When I auditioned for this film in the spring, I really had no concept of the scope of the film.  All I knew was, I loved the script. Seriously. I rarely “love” scripts.  As I was reading, I felt as though I knew the character of Emma better than ANYONE else. I knew that I understood the writer’s subtle quirks that no one else would be able to perform but ME. I laughed out loud while reading because it was smart AND funny.  And both things make me laugh.

I showed up to the audition and met this group of very friendly people.  I read a bit of the script and then…I got to improvise with the director / writer / actor.

IMPROVISING. YES!  I hadn’t done it in awhile for any auditions and I was stoked.  We went back and forth for a very long time and just had…a lot of fun.

Let me explain my first impression of Ryan Brady to you, dear reader.  You meet him and you instantly want to make him laugh.  Like, you want to TICKLE him.  You see, he has this really excellent, poker face, let’s call it. And he’s got a very dry demeanor but you just KNOW you would really love to make him..LAUGH. When I met him, I thought, “Psh, no one is else is going to get my part (MINE MINE MINE), because it is now my MISSION of the HOUR to make him laugh.

I walked out of the room FEELING like the part was mine. However, i knew that this so called “magical feeling” that actors get from time to time can really be based more out of fantastical, manic, desperate need for validation rather than you know, anything based in reality.

It was a Sunday afternoon and my hubby was working nearby, so we met up for coffee.  He asked me the usual, “How did it go?” and after guzzling down some of my sugary drink, I said without a beat, “I got the part.” He just looked at me like ? and I said, “I think.”

So anyway…I got the part.

Have you ever started a new job, or moved to a new location, or gone to a party where you meet this entire group of people and you think, “Whoa, these are my people.  Where have they been and how can we be friends RIGHTNOW?”  Well, everyone on the crew and cast of “Ian and the Bishop” are MY PEOPLE.

(The last time I felt that way about a group of people was WIllows Way…believe it or not..said Willows Way people will understand why this is funny and true).

So back to why this was such an intuitive project.  Everyone GETS each other.  We would shoot a setup a couple of times, someone would have a note, and we’d just keep going.  No one was petty.  No one shot anyone else down.  It was just…intuitive.  And this fellow, Ryan Brady, whom I mentioned before?  Well, he made the process even more intuitive.  When we got to the climactic scene of the script, I felt as though he was listening, he was giving me something to work with, and it felt like a safe environment.  To be honest, I can’t say that about every shoot of which I’m a part.

This shoot reminded me the importance of “going with the flow.”  You know, production value and big trailers and expensive food is great and all, but you know what makes a really great film?  THE GUTS.

Personally, I think it was very brave of everyone on this project to do something that was new to many of them. I think it was brave of Ryan to write something so smart, funny, and honest about himself and then find a way to share it with others who I am sure will find it to be all of the things (wink) I have listed.

I was so drawn to this project, I think, because it reminds me of what I am trying to do with Holding. I’m just trying to be honest about some things that have happened to me, but make them enjoyable to experience in a way that will hopefully be cathartic for anyone who partakes of the web series.

So thank you, to the crew behind, “Ian and the Bishop.”  You reminded me about how sometimes to get a project done, all you really need is the GORY GUTS.

And you guys have it.



4 thoughts on “Guts

  1. Hey Case! I really enjoyed reading this post! Makes me want to meet Ryan and see the film! You’ve done something different with your writing in this one. Your other posts are good, but, for some reason, this one really came alive to me while I was reading it. I totally got you feelings and your emotions. You’ve changed your writing style, (Oh GAWD! I can feel the old creative writing teacher in me coming out after all of these years !), and I didn’t just read your writing, I experienced it. Maybe it has something to do its all those scripts you wrote for Holding. Don’t know. All I DO know is that I really enjoyed the way you expressed yourself here.
    After spending th whole day today meeting with NYC producers and directors, it was refreshing to rad something from a real, live, feeling human being!

    1. LOL thank you, Jim! I appreciate your comments, especially since you know a thing or three about writing 🙂 I could have just written about superficial things, such as what I’m working on, what my plans are, or everyday actor’s crap etc. But when I have a good experience with a wonderful group of people, I feel that I should write about that instead! Life’s too short, might as well focus on the REAL stuff.

      Hope everything went well in NY! talk with you soon!

      On Mon, Jul 8, 2013 at 10:41 PM, caseymcdougal

  2. Thanks, Case. Things went very well in New York. The producer picked me up at the station herself in her Lexus. (I wasn’t very impressed with the car. An over-priced Camry.) I got wined and dined, and I’ve got a whole bunch of legal contracts to go over with my agent and my lawyer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s